2nd October: The Blue Notebook

This afternoon I listened to more of the book of Matthew. The Bible is a funny thing. It works in us on so many levels, there’s the story, the deep moments and other things that don’t make any sense. I feel like I’ve lost a lot of my relationship and connection with God, but the Bible says:

Seek, and you shall find! Knock, and it will be opened unto you! Ask, and you shall receive!

Surely if I keep earnestly seeking God, He will give me some connection back? I need God more than air. I think I will just write and write until I find my way back to the majestic company of my divine Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. I might be insane with spiritual longing, but that’s not all bad. “Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart.” Psalm 119:2

“Alice doesn’t have to chase the white rabbit to still want to explore wonderland.” Cas

Matthew 7:7-9
“7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”

The Blue Notebook


I asked God what project I should do next for October. He miraculously told me to post this notebook. It is a prayer written over a few months in 2015 as I was trying to come to terms with my diagnosis and medication. I felt like this was too private, but one night while the house was empty, I read it all out aloud. As I went along, I felt God tell me to mark different places. When I got to the end, God said ever clearly, ‘Now count the sections’. I did, and there were exactly 31 sections for the 31 days of October. I was overwhelmed; it was a profound and miraculous moment for me. What are the chances? So, for you, Lord, I share with the world, The Blue Notebook.

The actual blue notebook.