Day 14: Psychosis

Psychosis
Cas Reeves 2016
 
PICU (Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit 2014)
Beware, there be dragons here.
 
I saw a blackbird on the roof,
I think it was a crow?
I saw a blackbird on the roof,
I think it was a crow?
I saw a blackbird on the roof,
I think it was a crow?
(Repeat again and again)
 
I saw a white bird fly above,
I hope it was a dove?
The cypher flipped.
‘One will be black.’
‘One will be white.’
If you see a red heart
It’s the Queen,
Don’t trust her
“Off with your head!”
The white rabbit lies.
Look for the cypher flip.
Next is black.
Black, white, black white.
 
The reflection in the window
Cuts me in four.
I am four?
If I move, I am two.
That is not right?
I am my Father’s daughter.
He is three like me.
He is Father, Spirit, Son,
Yet One.
I am three,
Body, spirit, soul,
The Imp, the mother and the broken.
I’m sharing this in the hope people will gain a better understanding of mental illness. Madness, insanity, visual, auditory and tactile hallucinations, for each person who experiences psychosis, it is unique. For me, it was a terrifying, bewildering, erratic trip down the rabbit hole and through several looking glasses. My mind would make all sorts of bizarre connections. I was insane: people don’t like to use that word but to say I was ill doesn’t capture it. I lost touch with reality, my sanity shattered, but God never let go of me, strangely He travelled with me through that nightmare.