Day 31: The Blue Notebook

The impossibility of ever having anything to say that could conceivably match how beautiful God feels in my heart makes me pause. The sunlight itself is like sweet music from Heaven, light shining like warm love.

James 1:17-18 “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. Of his own will begat he us with the word of truth, that we should be a kind of first fruits of his creatures.”

The cross, a greater gift of love then I could ever deserve. Please forgive my sins by your blood and grant me eternal life with you, LORD most high. Cas

Life needs to stay simple if I am to stay sane.

Lord, the white rabbit in my head sits calm and says: You are not late.

I relax, wonderland is just a dream I can leave anytime.

I am not defined by wonderland.

I am not defined by mental illness.

Despite my mental illness, I can connect with God.

I can, I write, I feel. Thank you Lord. Cas

1 John 4:7-19
“7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God;

and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us,

and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
12 No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another,

God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.
13 Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.
14 And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Saviour of the world.
15 Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God.
16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.
17 Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear:

because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
19 We love him, because he first loved us.”

Day 22: The Blue Notebook

I want to write to you. I want to talk to you. Oh, to find the words that entreat! I would sing a new song, sweeter than the spring rain that now falls.

Groom of my heart! Bridegroom of the universal church, please hear my prayers.

I wish my heart and head were instruments and I, with my soul, could play upon them music so powerful and mellow that it would melt yours reservations like hot caramel sauce on cold, creamy ice cream.

I wish I could delight your being, distract and divert your sense of humour so much that eternity would seem but a moment shared by friends.

My LORD, I would build worlds with words and give these worlds to you to amuse you. For your pleasure are all things. Cas

Psalm 96
A Song of Praise
“1  O sing unto the Lord a new song: sing unto the Lord, all the earth. 2  Sing unto the Lord, bless his name; shew forth his salvation from day to day. 3  Declare his glory among the heathen, his wonders among all people. 4  For the Lord is great, and greatly to be praised: he is to be feared above all gods. 5  For all the gods of the nations are idols: but the Lord made the heavens. 6  Honour and majesty are before him: strength and beauty are in his sanctuary. 7  Give unto the Lord, O ye kindreds of the people, give unto the Lord glory and strength. 8  Give unto the Lord the glory due unto his name: bring an offering, and come into his courts. 9  O worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness: fear before him, all the earth.”

Day 13: The Blue Notebook

I would create a home for you, Lord. I am just one woman, but I would make a beautiful place for you if I could. I would surround you with comfort and warmth. Shower you with love. Prepare delicious food. Invite friends and family, the elderly and children. Fill the rooms with laughter and music. There would always be fresh flowers and clean, soft sheets. I would give you the joy of simple human context. Ordinary wonders, like hugs and kisses. I would tell you stories by an open fire late into the night. I would lay by your side in the dark and let you rest. I would light one candle and gaze at your face in its light. For you, Oh Lord, I would give all I could to make you feel loved. Cas


My favourite Bible passage.
John 14:1-4
“14 Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.
2 In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
4 And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.”

Day 8: The Blue Notebook

Please LORD accept my passionate, undying admiration. You are the most mysterious, delicious being in all the universe. I long to be your friend. I want to discover your secrets. Who are you when no angels or humans clutter your view? Are you always thinking like a king, or are you sometimes just a man who happens to be God?

Before the creation of Heaven and earth who were you then? I know you are the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, and you are all that’s in between, but before the Alpha and after the Omega, in that brief eternity alone, who were you then? For it is you without all your creation that I long to comfort. Cas

I long to love you always, so I ask to love you now.

God and I before the world began, by faith, I love Him then. Cas

Revelation 1:5-8
“Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,
And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen.
I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty.”