Today it was a challenge to record these poems. I haven’t been sleeping well, my mind seems to think going to bed is the signal to start planning out how to change the world or take on a new career or renovate my childhood home and turn it into a retreat. Wonderful thoughts to contemplate but not helpful when you need to go to sleep. Thank you for taking the time to share my journey, we are all imperfect works in progress, how precious is it that our God loves us just as we are.
Day 24: The Blue Notebook
What is a girl to do when she is promised and waits?
My heart is longing…..
Your own Spirit longs as I do. Hasten to the, MARRIAGE SUPPER OF THE LAMB. Send me not away……
Truly there is nothing so sweet to me as being with you.
I am a small plant, let me grow in your shadow. You are a mighty tree, let me grow in your bark. Let me be a delicate orchid and flower in your branches.
You are so mighty. I have so little I can offer you but I make pictures with words and lay them before you like a child absurdly proud of my immature sketches. I say: “Father! Father! I love you! Please notice me! I see you! I love you! Please put my pictures on your fridge.”
Day 30: Resolution
Resolution Cas Reeves 2019 This time I come as me! Though me, Be three. Though Snow and Red Both share my head, And chat away At night in bed Though Gun be son, Yet we are one. Cas, a writer now, Brave at last somehow. I do not lie. I dare to try. I write my truth, As one, Before the Father, Spirit, Son, That three, Who too, Is one.
Day 29: Little By Little
Little by Little Cas Reeves 2018 I’d like to make music for you, Lord. If I was a harp how I’d sing, For you my dear Saviour Are so much more, Then even just God, You’re my King. I fell through a hole in the ground To a lost, sad world without words But slowly I rise to my feet, You lift me a little, So gentle and kind. Somehow, I’m less lost And not out of my mind. I write a sentence, a page. Not much, no manic or rage, But perhaps what follows Will be greater than all The push and the drama Before my mind’s fall. Will my words change the world? I don’t know, But the fact that I’m here Goes to show, That little by little, Like a retuned fiddle My words are a song changing me. With my heart fit to burst I come with my thirst And sing, I have a story set free.
Day 28: The Circus
The Circus Cas Reeves 2020 I can barely walk the path before me. I stumble, and I fall, and then I crawl. Like pictures torn from a yellow book, My thoughts are dark, but still, I look. My mind is like performance art, A circus troop that’s full of glee Dancing in the big top that’s me. Where’s the clown? I see the acrobats move faster. The girl standing on the horse And the ringmaster. Nobody is selling popcorn anymore. The monkey lost his jacket long ago. And the little girl who’s only three Who thinks that she is me Rides on her Pa’s shoulders once again. If I had everything, I’d still be poor But I’m as rich as I can ever get Because I live life over and over With a little girl who can’t forget.
Day 18: Darkside
Darkside Cas Reeves 2004 You've got a dark side, And it's always there And you're walking the line Between Heaven and Hell. You're running, and you're hiding And you're living in the dark. So close to God Yet warped in my soul. Laying exposed in the dark Mind is going crazy And the brain is doing twirls. Loving God and flying to his arms, Rescue me, oh rescue me from myself. Cannot walk and cannot talk And cannot see the light. So alone, Hoping and I'm dreaming, And I'm empty, and I'm full. I've got a dark side And it's beautiful and broken But it frightens even me.