Day 23: Medicated Soul

Medicated Soul
Cas Reeves 2019
Who am I here?
To write these words
And hold my breath at shadows?
Is there still poetry
In this medicated soul?
Does God still love me
Though I feel nothing?
Nothing when I pray?
No word jumps from the page.
The scripture sits blank,
Like cold porridge in my head.
Does God still love me?
Though I do not burn?
Or even yearn?
Does He understand,
That medication dulls
The sword that was my spirit
Until the edge of my wits
Is more ‘blunt butter knife.’
Then a scalpel
To divide the soul and spirit?
I offer God anew my words,
My thoughts, dreams and desires.
I put God first in all
My longings and my hopes.
I pray God’s grace
Is greater than my illness.
My illness has forced me to live by faith. Medication blocks the spirituality I could always access so freely. Now I have to trust the promises of scripture. God never leaves us or forsakes us. We might feel alone, we might feel nothing, we might be lost in layer after layer of confusion and depression, but God is greater than all this. He longs to save our souls and comfort us.
“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

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