Sharing from my many shelves of journals. The mostly biographical poetry and writing of an Australian Christian woman living with schizoaffective disorder.
Psychosis
Cas Reeves 2016
PICU (Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit 2014)
Beware, there be dragons here.
I saw a blackbird on the roof,
I think it was a crow?
I saw a blackbird on the roof,
I think it was a crow?
I saw a blackbird on the roof,
I think it was a crow?
(Repeat again and again)
I saw a white bird fly above,
I hope it was a dove?
The cypher flipped.
‘One will be black.’
‘One will be white.’
If you see a red heart
It’s the Queen,
Don’t trust her
“Off with your head!”
The white rabbit lies.
Look for the cypher flip.
Next is black.
Black, white, black white.
The reflection in the window
Cuts me in four.
I am four?
If I move, I am two.
That is not right?
I am my Father’s daughter.
He is three like me.
He is Father, Spirit, Son,
Yet One.
I am three,
Body, spirit, soul,
The Imp, the mother and the broken.
I’m sharing this in the hope people will gain a better understanding of mental illness. Madness, insanity, visual, auditory and tactile hallucinations, for each person who experiences psychosis, it is unique. For me, it was a terrifying, bewildering, erratic trip down the rabbit hole and through several looking glasses. My mind would make all sorts of bizarre connections. I was insane: people don’t like to use that word but to say I was ill doesn’t capture it. I lost touch with reality, my sanity shattered, but God never let go of me, strangely He travelled with me through that nightmare.
I'm a 46 year old Christian married mother of two young adults who I had the honour of homeschooling for 12 years. My husband Rodney and I live in Brisbane Australia. I am creating this space to share, as God leads, some of my writing and experiences living with schizoaffective disorder and pursuing a deeper healing relationship with God.
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Praise God that He promises to never leave or forsake us 🙌
He journeys with us through joy and pain and He’s especially our faithful Companion in sorrow and despair!
Thanks once again for your raw and honest sharing so that I can see the human person that is suffering and not the mental illness diagnosis ♥️
These poems are so insightful thank you again for sharing
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Praise God that He promises to never leave or forsake us 🙌
He journeys with us through joy and pain and He’s especially our faithful Companion in sorrow and despair!
Thanks once again for your raw and honest sharing so that I can see the human person that is suffering and not the mental illness diagnosis ♥️
LikeLiked by 1 person