Sharing from my many shelves of journals. The mostly biographical poetry and writing of an Australian Christian woman living with schizoaffective disorder.
We Sit by Hell
Cas Reeves 2019
I died and went to Hell.
I sat and watched and waited.
I was not alone,
Not dammed,
The fire touched me not.
I found God weeping,
But though his tears flowed
The flames burned on.
The screams, the heat, the fear.
Neither God nor I
Could comfort anyone.
His omnipresence
Held him always
Compelled to witness Hell.
I took his hand,
He grasped mine,
I didn’t question.
There was no possibility
Of help, healing or escape.
We sit by Hell.
He is in Heaven too,
Meet him there.
Let Hell not welcome you.
What caused the psychotic break that landed me in hospital? One explanation: I kept stretching the fragile membrane of my sanity further over the enormity of God, trying to understand the most profound spiritual concepts. Such as this, because of God’s omnipresence, He is an inescapable witness to Hell. Yet He loves those who accept His gift of salvation enough to be willing to suffer eternally. These are the kind of concepts that can blow your mind; tear your sanity in two.
I'm a 46 year old Christian married mother of two young adults who I had the honour of homeschooling for 12 years. My husband Rodney and I live in Brisbane Australia. I am creating this space to share, as God leads, some of my writing and experiences living with schizoaffective disorder and pursuing a deeper healing relationship with God.
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Cheryl Reeves Writing - from my shelves of journals 