Sharing from my many shelves of journals. The mostly biographical poetry and writing of an Australian Christian woman living with schizoaffective disorder.
My Dear and Damaged Mind
By Cas Reeves 2020
My dear and damaged mind
Rise up and seek and find
New hope, you are not dead.
Have faith stronger than dread.
Try, a little step has power:
Seedlings in time give flowers.
One word or two can grow.
Secret writing, not for show,
Still builds the muscle,
Take up the pen.
I cannot give myself healing
But open doors to feeling
Might let in fresh air and light,
That alone arms us to fight.
Do not die inwardly
For want of trying once again.
You might be broken
And thinking feels like pain.
You try and fail but from it
You learn another path and pit,
A way not to go perhaps?
Or just the endurance of laps.
To despair robs you of strength
Depression comes and takes its length
But when a glimmer of hope
Glitters, wash with it like soap
For hopes smells sweet
Tastes like treats to eat
It takes a weight off tired feet
Hope is a soft, safe seat.
Dare, dare to try to write
No novel gets finished in one night
All great works take inner might
Pick up your pen again and fight.
I wrote this poem this year, so I guess you could say this is where I am at now. I am not well but I am stable and I dare to share.
I'm a 46 year old Christian married mother of two young adults who I had the honour of homeschooling for 12 years. My husband Rodney and I live in Brisbane Australia. I am creating this space to share, as God leads, some of my writing and experiences living with schizoaffective disorder and pursuing a deeper healing relationship with God.
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